The Lord my God says to me,"In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength." The Lord longs to be gracious unto me, He rises to show me compassion. For the Lord is a just God. How gracious he will be when you cry for help. As soon as He hears He will answer you. Whether you turn to the right or to the left your ears will hear a voice behind you saying "This is the way walk ye in it" "Be careful to obey, success is not guaranteed unconditionally."Be strong and courageous" "Be strong and courageous" "Be strong and courageous", our Father says this over and over in His word to us. Thank you Father for your love and continued encouragement.

TEA

THOUGHTS
EMOTION
ACTION
New way to look at tea. These thoughts are lies from satan, I cant, I wont, Im not.
When I believe them my emotions are fear, sad and lonely.
Then my action is do nothing, sit on the couch, watch tv,
and stuff my face till It hurts.

When I turn those thoughts(fiery darts from satan) to scripture, "I CAN do all things thru Christ who strengthens me."
Then my emotion is thankful, happy, secure.
As a result my action becomes productive. I will call friends, go on outings and enjoy life.
In other words GET UP OFF THAT COUCH, TURN THE TV OFF.
God is so good to me. I am thankful for the people He has put in my life to light a fire under me.

God is good.

We serve an amazing God. He loves us so much and shows us in so many different ways. Thank you Tiz for your blessing this morning. Thank you God for helping me and encouraging me today. You are my strength, my hope and my song. No matter how undeserving I am you always reach out to me. Thank you.

I am ok so far today I am hanging on to the Word. This battle is spiritual. Please pray.

2 days

Seems like I can go 2 days not stuffing myself to sickness. I am not as desperate as I was last week. I am more encouraged. I have told some people in my life that I am sick. They looked at me funny and that was that. I know that God loves me and wants the best for me. Sometimes the pressures of life are just too much. Its hard when you believe no body really cares. My "mom" died last January and she was the only person who loved me for me. Now I have no one. Its really hard to make friends when you dont feel like you are worth anything. When everyone you know and love doesnt have belief and confidence in you its hard to have any. I know in my head but my heart is breaking.

Hope.

My friend Jaci sent me a book "Thin Enough", thank you friend.
My hope is there again. I am beginning to hope.
I am not crying as much. I am sad, I feel all alone.
This episode is almost gone. I hope it never shows its face again.
I know God has a plan for me. I just hope He will let me in on it soon.
I am not much of a writer or talker for that matter.
I spent most of my life being quieted and pushed away.
I do know and always have known(if only in my mind) that God doesnt quiet me or push me away. Now if I can just realize that His opinion is the only one that matters.

Am I the only one with regrets?

I went to a celebration of life for my friend Debbie yesterday. Quite a few months ago my friend called me and invited me into the last months of her life. I went over, had an amazing visit and left with every intention of going back to spend lots more time with her. But life got in the way. Every day I found every excuse there is not to go back and spend time with my friend. I was too tired, I should see my kids, my grand kids but mostly I was too tired. I could have shared some amazing memories with my friend but I was selfish. I know Debbie has forgiven me. She is with our Lord
and Savior Jesus Christ, the son of the living God. Just one more regret in my life. One more thing to forgive myself for. One more thing to live with. I have still been stuffing food into my mouth. I cant seem to stop. I am so sick. I want to be positive. It just seems like every positive is knocked down by all the negatives. I know I need counseling I hope I make a decision to get it soon.

Hope I can make it thru the night.

With you thinking of me I can get thru tonight.
Thank you for the strength you give to me.

Someone Listened

Thank you for responding.
It gave me a jolt and helped me to have a good day today.
This is a moment by moment renewing of my mind walk.
Sometimes I feel so sad and alone.
I know I am not alone, God is always with me.
I am looking for a full time job.
This is a strange feeling.
I have been self employed for 14 years.
My husband and I have worked together all those years.
It is time to work somewhere else.
It definitely will be strange working for someone else but I believe there is a place for me that I will enjoy and do some good.
So as Sarah Young says in her book, Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, I will pour my energy into seeking God.

No one responded.

I guess I am still on my own. Another night and I have made myself sick and yet I still want to shove more food into my mouth. I am sick to my stomach, I feel like I am going to throw up. I just dont know what to do. Help me please.

Do you eat even if it makes you sick?

Here it is 2 years later and I am still in the same place. Stuck. I eat beyond full. I eat until I am in pain.(physical and mental) I cant seem to stop myself. Do you have any suggestions? This pattern has developed in the last 10 years. To the point, it seems, of No return. I dont have much interest in anything anymore. I am at last seeking input from whoever will respond.